Wind - unbelievable pain and nausia

It was thursday late afternoon and Natalie ( Daughter ) and her friend Lorna were due in later. The big thing that needed sorting out was bowel movements. Aparently I wont get to go home unless this is cracked. Decided with the staff nurse that we would try and start it all - or at least get the stool softeners in early so I would be ok for my visitors.

Brilliant Staff Nurse - Elisa was looking after me. She has suffered herself from the type of pain I was going through and about to go through. Without her help I wouldnt have got through the next few hours.

Really didnt quite work out. I had a couple if glycerin suppositories that were meant to iritate the bowel and might help movement. That didnt work. Held them in for an hour and then sat for ages on loo - no result. Also I took and oral Laxido to help soften the stool. The active ingredient, Macrogol 3350, is a laxative that makes stools softer and easier to pass .  This didnt work. The nurse then contacted Mr D. to see if I could have a stronger enema - injected up the rectum to kick start things. This was done, but still no joy. Wow - seems the use of the pain drugs like codeine etc had really buggered me up. At this time I also received another injection of an anti clotting agent.

A concern here is that I havent voided since a small one on tuesday morning and now it was thursday - day three post op. Mr D doesnt like his patients straining to void as it can impact the internals he has done. Big point this as during my research online and talking with other people who have been through the procedure this was a big bug bear.

Whilst all this happened the wonderful dinner I had ordered arrived. Managed half a cup of coffee and some soup, but the fish and veg went back to the hotplate to be saved and the jelly and double cream would have to wait on the tray.

I was still sat on the loo praying to the toilet gods when my daughter arrived. Lorna and Natalie stopped for about an hour but the longer they were there and I was talking the more sick I was  feeling. Maybe it was all the talking, maybe it was the drugs - I dont know , but what I did know was i needed space and to be on my own with the nursing staff to sort me. Felt so guilty asking the girls to leave after  they had journeyed here. They understood though.

After they went, Nursing team came back in. They got authority for some anti nausea medication, wind medication and my normal paracetamol.  I asked them to take the food try away  - which they did. Even looking at a glass of water was making me feel ill. It wasnt even 9pm and I turned all the lights out.

I was about to go to sleep and noticed a message to me on ProstateCancerUK Forums from Tony. He had an RP under Mr D at the Priory. He stressed to me to lie on my left side and this would help clear the wind. I tell you honestly, I had never felt pain like this before. All lights out and I got myself as comfortable on the bed and started to try and sleep. Around 10 pm the over night nurse came in and gave me pain killers and a wind tablet. If you can imagine your body full of gassy water gurling away and nowhere for that gas to go - thats the feeling and thats the noise you hear. Even Lorna had heard it before she left. I must have nodded of but about 11 pm I started to actually pass wind - big style. It obviously had found its way through to the exit -:) This went on for sometime , probably a couple of hours off and on and then I slept.

5am I woke up and felt quite good so got up for a walk around the room. Had a wash, did teeth and had a shave.. what else to do .. nothing. Started to feel pain from the abdomin , not wind pain this time.Nurse came in and gave me paracetamol x 2 and a Tramadol - I wasnt aware at the time that Mr D doesnt like his patients to have this really as its like codeine - not to worry - the combination helped me sleep and I woke at 7.30am to the gentle knock of Mr D on his morning round to say hello.

Again he was quite pleased with my progress and he gave me the good news that I should be able to go home saturday. I would however have to come back on tuesday to have the catheter out. To be honest, if I could be at home it would be great.

After Mr D left I saw the nurses, Staff Nurse Nicky - brilliant, talked me through the drugs - we have everything at home that I need to get me through the weekend. I only need Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. If I dont take my Amlodipine then I should be ok. I havent had any Amlodipine all week and the hospital have been fine monitoring my heart. I also have my own heart monitor at home so can check this.

Only problem might be saturday's drive home if we get stuck in traffic for a few hours. Nicky said she could give me a suppository pain killer - one Mr D recommends - Voltarol - as it doesnt cause constipation. Via suppository it will be quick acting. They might also be able to give me an oramorph dose before I leave.

Had my breakfast and then decided to get really mobile. Tidied my ward room. Picked clothes for the day - socks, shorts and pink i-scout tee shirt. Bathroom and then had a shower - well, the nurses showered me yesterday, this was interesting doing it on my own. Now I have a problem at home. I need a shower stool to sit on, also I will need a handle to pull up on. Havent got any. Dam. Gonna have to see if son of mine can fit them when I get home.

Below ... fridays breakfast ... prunes .. my god ... never thought I would welcome these .. but needs must!

Wowa .. How much fluid can you fit in your bladder!!

Well its wednesday, checked into my ward room , great team of nurses sorting me out. Still buzzing a bit after the ITU experience. In ITU I could drink small amount of fluid. Now being out the priotity is to get enough fluid through me , through my bladder to help the healing process.

Lots of what I have read talks around clearing out clots, bits of blood and getting the urine to a lighter colour. Also, I suppose with the drugs I am on its important to hydrate well.



My baby cup


In the room I am given a glass to drink from, however I have become attached to my baby cup -:) The cup enables me to drink but not spill anything on me, the bed or my laptop as I am lying down. Got used to it in ITU as you can only drink small amounts. Now i am out i can drink more. I was given a soup, more like hot flavoured water. Interesting that when I drank this, suddenly the fluid from the catheter was red and I mean dark red. Lots of it. Maybe the soup did this?

Sort of frightened me - especially when I knew I had lost blood in the op. So decided to drink lots of fluid and get it clear again.

I think I was still slightly disorientated on wed in the room as I was not saying the right things to people. Also I felt nervous about buzzing for a nurse. Family visited again, but to be honest, I was so tired my eyes were closing all the time.When the family went I was ready for sleep - me - at 9pm - wow. Had medication from nurses and they told me they would see me again at 2am. Yep, saw them then and they said I would see them again about 6am. They emptied my catheter bag. During the night between sleeps I kept drinking. Didnt realize how much I had drunk but i woke with pains. Started to do some work on my laptop but the pain got worse. Eventually about 7am I buzzed a nurse. She was really shocked when she saw my bag full. To cut a long story short, they emptied 4 litres of fluid out of me ... wooops ...  I was blowing my bladder up with all the fluid as the catheter bag was full. Wont do that again.!! You learn !!

Working on my laptop in hospital

Thursday, Mr Doherty arrived again, brilliant pick me up for a morning. The epi was coming out, was going on light meals and later in day we would work on the bowels - great thing was I farted for England about midnight - that was important as they needed to know that I could pass wind.

Lots of people, men, get embarassed about these things, but when you are in the middle of this kind of treatment, get a  life and get on with it. What I have learnt is medical people deal with the human body all the time, nurses are nurses, doctors are doctors. Like I am a proffessional IT person, they are medical proffessionals, dont be embarrassed about anything.

So, thursday, the epidural came out, suppository put in for anti inflamation to help with abdomin.
More pain releif, this time just paracetamol, as I had para and codeine at 6am. Codein cut out now.

Lot more drinking and now food - wow, breakfast...lunch ... huge ..
Shower. This was an experience. Two nurses had to help me. When I got out of the bed for the first time I leant against the wall as I took my first few steps. I used the wall and a nurse to support myself into the bathroom. Then another humbling experience beign showered by the nurses, but its a job for them and I was more focused on not falling over or passing out in the shower. But the wash felt good.

The shower meant I could get rid of the hospital gown - got dressed into shorts and T, am starting to feel normal. Interesting as it was the first time I had walked since tuesday morning. Coped well, though nearly fainted a bit in shower so sat down. After the shower I felt brilliant.

New dressing and a chance to see my scar... it looks so neat and tidy

Physio called to see me - Kizzie - had seen him yesterday - makes me laugh. We went for a walk up and down the corridoor - he thinks I am doing great. He is going to take me up the stairs tomorrow. Wants me to walk the corridoor twice more today.

Now more suppositories - glycerin - this time we need to start working on the bowels  - got lots of stuffy pain. Must not forget that I had a roast dinner monday, big lunch today .. not been for a void since tuesday and that wasnt much. ....

Will have to see how this goes.

Am feeling good, but I dont know if I am overdoing things.

I do know these suppositories as I am typing this up are creasing me up !!!!

Its 4.45 ... wednesday 11/10/2012 .. might need the little boys room !! - Nope.

Post Op - ITU Experience

Apparently the operation took about 3 hours and I was returned to intensive care unit at 11.30am still fast asleep. I remember waking up after 12 midday, could have been slightly later. My recollection was trying to take a mask of my face and being asked to put it back on.  All very nice, a feeling of airiness but no pain, just dreamy.  Gradually as I came around I started to notice the business inside the Intensive Care Unit. Saw a sheet next to my bed which said I was a Critical Care Level 2. They have level 1, 2 and 3.  The nurse, Amy, kept asking if I was in pain but I couldn’t say I was really.  

After a while the oxygen mask was taken away and replaced with a tube thing that attaches to your nose and sends the oxygen up your nose. I then started to notice all the stuff attached to me, oxygen, tube draining blood from my stomach, catheter coming out of penis, tube into arm putting fluid and pain killer in, epidural into back, ECG leads attached to my chest.. Wow, it puts things into perspective what’s just happened and why this hospital is so good at what it does.

Even more impressive and something that helped me was the ability for me to have my smartphone in ITU so I could listen to calming music and also send texts and talk to friends via messaging . I was also able to liaise with my family. When my wife and daughter arrived later in the day I was so chilled out she took a photo for me .. on the blog here - my niece who works in ITU in London reckons I look too healthy..

I look a lot cheery in this picture

The great thing about being able to use the technology in ITU was my ability to tell all my friends I was OK. It gave me a real lift.

You don’t really notice things but gradually during the day you become accustomed to everything and everyone.  I must make a special mention here to the team in the Priory ITU, to  Amy, the nurse who suffered me coming around, Emma who fused after me on both days I was in there, to Elaine who ensured I was given the post op medication including the clotting agent also Elaine had to re-adjust my position when we found that the epidural which was giving me a block from above wound down to thighs only worked on one side, to Niera who looked after me day 2 and took me to my ward, but the massive thank you goes to the overnight team and Jaira who monitored me all night, topping up medications when required ; being naturally nosey, but wanting to understand what was happening she was able to explain things which for me put me at so much ease. It also helped as I really couldn’t sleep. With machines on the go and monitors taking readings every hour I just didn’t sleep .. Until that is 06.05 .. I know that as I didn’t hear or feel the heart rate squeezing my arm, Jaira also changed my IV paracetamol at that time and she told me later I was nicely asleep .. Until just before 7 am, so I got some sleep!

Lying in ITU being monitored



Didnt realize I looked this crap

When I woke up I had my first humbling experience - the bed bath. Having never been ill or having to go into hospital before in my whole life this was a new to me and as a man was quite humbling. But the staff who did this were so proffessional and considerate it was all over in no time and any embarrasment I may have had was gone.

Just before 8 am I was joined in ITU by Mr Doherty; he confirmed what he had said to my wife that the operation had gone well. He did say there had been a slight problem with heavy bleeding ( notes said I had lost 1.2 litres ), but they would check my levels to see if I needed a transfusion or whether I would be slightly anaemic . Surgical margins were fine but we wouldn’t know for definite until the results come back from pathology and of course the PSA testing (as normal post op follow-up). Felt really great after his visit. Our priorities had been cure, continence, ED .. so well on the way to Number 1, and I know I can do Number 2 as I have been practising my Kegels before the Op.

Ah, well , so Op now over .. Neira took blood samples – the results would be ready in 30 mins, this was to check levels , especially as a result of that heavy blood loss  -turns out am ok anyway. Lunchtime I was fit and well enough to move out of ITU and go to a ward room. Really do need to sleep .. am so glad that bits over .. now lets see how fast I can recover. If I can climb mountains , surely I can get up and about ….

Surgery - Open Radical Prostatectomy with Bilateral Nerve Sparing

What a week so far.
I didn’t sleep at all on Monday evening as I was full of nerves - I have since found out that my wife described me to a relative as terrified. I had tried to conceal this but obviously I am not good at that type of thing. Anyway, back to Monday - went and did bits of shopping and had a roast chicken lunch with Helen. Also in the evening I was under hospital instruction not to eat after 2am. We decided to have a roast lamb ... like lamb to the slaughter comes to mind - lol fabulous meal cooked by my lady wife. Food over by 7.30 pm just enough time to go to a Shropshire Scouts meeting to help organise the county gala, then home by 10pm.

Glass of water before bed - couldn’t sleep anyway so I just lay there until 4am and then got up for my shower. Must have been in that shower for about 30 mins, just so much going through my head about what was happening to me. Got changed and downstairs to Helen who was enjoying a coffee – I had a sip of water with an Amlodipine (hypertension).  I was panicking about the time. We had to be at the hospital for 7am and after last week taking over two hours to get there I didn’t want to be late. Sat nav on and into the car we went - well, leaving at just after 5am we sailed through arriving at The Priory for 6am  - early for a change. At least it made me calmer, I think Helen may have been more nervous than me, bless. We hung around in the car until 6.50 and then went in.

I must say the staff at this hospital are fabulous. Lovely smiles when you arrive and the porter so friend and chatty. We were shown up to my room with a copy of the morning paper. There were only three of us booked in that morning, two for quick day procedures and me for what was described as something a bit bigger. Oh well. I unpacked and then was told that this ward may close and I may go back to a different ward – so packed again. All this helped to take my mind of things. Did paperwork with the Staff Nurse who joked away with me, she was the lady who was here last week. Got unchanged and into the fetching hospital gown .. backside covered by dressing gown.

Shortly before 8am, Alan Doherty arrived. He just oozes confidence – when I read the book, Dead Men Don’t Have Sex, the author described how you have to have confidence in your medical team and urologist – this is exactly what you have with Alan. Just talking about the operation and nerves didn’t come into play. When assessing the operational needs – risk etc. I even said ‘Heavy Bleeding’ without a quiver – I had read a lot about this from Dr Patrick Walsh when researching Prostate Cancer and its mentioned in his excellent book Surviving Prostate Cancer.  I joked with Alan about the possibility of a photo for my blog in the theatre -  not really when an open procedure is being done. Alan went away and a few moments later. Dr Singh came in ( replacement for Dr Farouqui ) – was to be my anesthetist. He described all the pain control that would be done. Again, something about the air of Dr Singh that puts your mind at rest. He left and I was joined by the nurse who would take me to theatre .. woops .. forgot to mention, I donned a lovely pair of long green stockings – combat DVT and clots post surgery.

It couldn’t be described as the long walk, more a walk and a lift . When we arrived at the ante room there was just enough time to give Helen a hug and in I went.  I think I must have said a whole Rosary ( The Roman Catholic in me ) on the way down . The nerves really did kick in and I am glad Helen didnt see me.

Nervously I took of my dressing gown and they undid the ties on the back. I climbed onto the operating table. Name and date of birth checked again, whilst one person put a blood pressure gizmo on one arm Dr Singh was slipping a needle or two into my other hand for the tubes . Something went in as I remember telling the nurse I felt weird. So many people had said that you go out in seconds, I can only guess that I had been given something to calm me down – excellent.

Then talking to the other chap without looking at Dr Singh, that was the last I remember .. until waking up in ITU ( Intensive care – the Priory has 6 dedicated critical care beds and all people who have major surgery end up there for monitoring ). … see next entry…

Its the big day. Nervous as Hell.

couldn't sleep all night. Up at just after 4am and now heading to Birmingham. I so need a coffee but can't have anything, not even water. Prayers said, almost said a whole Rosary.

Amazing Day - from Motorway Anxiety to calm in Hospital

What a day. Didn't sleep that well last night with the thought of going into hospital as 'day case' for the flexible cystoscopy and the unknown pre - op tests and samples.

Was up just after 5.30am and got myself ready - long shower to wake me up, coffee and checked all the paperwork. Finally left the house just before 7am - as I didnt need to get to the hospital until 9.30 am that would give me loads of time as its only about a 45 min drive away. Or so I thought.

M54, to M6 and then the traffic jam started. Stayed calm but slowly I watched the clock go to 8am, 8 15, 8.30, 8.45 and I still had 10 miles to do. At one point i drove 1 mile in 20 mins. Panic was starting to set in. Then all of a sudden all three lanes of the motorway started moving, 9am, I was off the motorway and heading through Birmingham. 9.10 am swung into the hospital carpark. Time to calm down for 5 mins.

Went to the hospital reception and asked for outpatients, was directed to a seperate building. Went there - what an idiot I am  - I am an inpatient, not outpatient - sent back to the main hospital - more panic.Am late!

Main hospital - all calm, told everything ok no rush. Thank god.

Taken by a lovely porter to my room within 5 mins of being in reception. Settled in and shown how to operate the TV - get the priorities right -:)

Catering staff arrived and gave me a menu to order my 3 course lunch !! ( OK small courses ) I ordered fan of melon, chicken sandwiches and a fruit salad with a pot of coffee. Could have done with a coffee right then.

Staff nurse came in and went through all the questions and history and other stuff. Put a wristband on me.

Consultant came in, lovely smile and manner - what a great guy - put me at ease straight away. So we could speed things up he was ready for me now! No time to dwell on it. Into the gown I went , slippers and dressing gown donned and with a theatre nurse I walked . We chatted away on the way down - she was obviously getting me relaxed as she knew I had never been a patient in hospital. ( The staff nurse later on remarked that I had done well to get to 52 years and not have to go into a hospital ).

Into the anti room , pause - loads of machines - door opens to the theatre and anesthetist appears and shaked my hand and welcomes me. They are all so nice. Two more theatre nurses and I am onto the operating table. No modesty here as I am bared for all to see and prep'd for the procedure.

Mt D. comes in and again with a reassuring smile starts chatting to me and we start. He starts to inject what I think is the topical anesthetic . He says it might sting a bit, to be honest it didnt and I told him I had had worse . I was more focused looking at the nurses with saline bags and the large TV screen in front of me. Mr D then put the device in and started to thread it into me. Wow, amazing, he gave me a running commentary of what I was seeing on the screen. He went down the uretha and stopped before he went into the bladder. He then asked me to do my pelvic muscle contraction - wow  -saw the bladder close. He said my contractions are perfect and strong. He also thinks after the main operation this will really help be achieve continence quickly.

Camera then went into the bladder and he had a good look around. He did notice reddening and slight inflamation. He asked if i had a problem passing water , I said I didnt and I suppose I dont , I just get on with it , like most men. He thinks I may have had or have slight Prostatitis. This wont impact the operation next week.

Camera is then withdrawn and its all over. While Mr D writes up his notes the nurses look after me. Wow, I now know what its like for a woman whose water break on the operating table. The table is soaked with the fluids they were putting through me. The floor is and so am I.

Mr D gives me a cheery goodbye and says he will see me tuesday. I am all smiling and happy  - considering what I have read about the procedure I have just had, I cant understand what people were moaning about - spinal blocks, generals - maybe I just had a great guy doing mine for me.

Back to the ward.

Cleaned up and got dressed. Mistake  - ECG's needed. Never mind, sorted it all.

Drank loads of water and had a coffee - staff were great. Woops pee needed  - method in their kindness - they needed the urine sample - gave em loads lol.

Blood tests - pathology nurse was fabulous, chatting away about everything  and explained about every sample. I have a good vein so it was so easy for her to put the needle in. Vial and Vial filled.

MRSA swabs done.

Lunchtime and dressed - more coffee.

Was about to leave and then we had more laughter - forgot that you actually have to be discharged from hospital, you cant just walk out. WOOPS. Back to my room.

Staff nurse then went through the discharge with me. We also talked about next week. She was great; as I didnt know what was going to happen she explained it all . Day by day. The big one was tuesday morning I would have a pre-assessment and I would see both my surgeon and the anesthetist . She also expained that I would have the open radical prostatectomy on tuesday and would not come back to the ward until about 11 am on the wednesday. From theatre on tuesday I would be taken to Intensive Care and stay there overnight being monitored and brought back to ward wednesday.

She thinks I will be there 7 days due to the operation I am having and also as I live so far away they prefare me to be clinically ok to have the catheter removed in hospital before I leave.

Went through lots of other stuff and then we said goodbye . She said she would see me tuesday.

What a day, time to go home. Am tired.

My room for the day today.

Below  - fruit salad - real fruit - not tinned

Lack of sleep

Having real problems at the moment sleeping. There is just so much going through my mind. I get tired during the day but its a different tiredness almost a depressive one. Then I don't sleep at night and I lie there thinking of everything that is going to happen.

They do say the waiting is the worse part of this disease.

Spoke to my GP yesterday and she was quite nice. She confirmed it would be OK to take a prescription from the hospital into surgery after my release and they would change it for an NHS one. Must take hospital release forms in as well. She also gave me the number for the district nurse team .

Keep getting all emotional and have to hold it all in. Blurted it out yesterday and it wasn't a good start to the day. No repeats today. Have to write a short will as I haven't got one. Need to sort this before next monday , I assume I can download something or pick a paper one up from Smiths.

Last day doing work today though working from home. Time to sort any email backlogs and say my work goodbyes for a week or so. Also need to phone loss adjusters over repairs to the house. They should have done the work by now. Will be just my luck that they start building work when I get out of hospital.