Erectile Dysfunction still a problem despite VED and Cialis - messes your head and emotions

People keep telling me its still early days, 8 months, I suppose it is. Some people who have had what I have had are permanently dysfunctional and have given up totally or are contemplating implants. Read the story in the news the other day about the guy in the USA who sued his surgeon for compensation following an implant that went wrong. Really I couldn't contemplate an implant.

The whole ED thing messes about your head. Doctors just don't get it and that's just the male ones; female doctors , though sympathetic , are still females and really don't understand how it feels to me a male. In both cases, they just don't understand the importance to the male of the species of his reproductive parts, the nerve and sensory pathways and the impact on the brain and emotions. When all of this is switched off after 52 years of life its devastating and you spend everyday thinking about your loss.

With cancer and incontinence the thoughts and emotions are different and you can get your head around these - though the fear of cancer comes back with each PSA test, even though you have had surgery and had it removed - you constantly worry about bio chemical recurrence. That will never go away.

With ED they promise you that it wont be a major problem, you don't want kids anymore? No problem you say, I don't want kids - I want to live. But they don't go into the impact of dry orgasms, lack or erectile tissues - no erection and possibly like that for life. Also they don't mention that you can suffer approx. 15% reduction in size - for some its inches !! When you are faced with cancer that's the primary pressure on your mind, but months after you get torn by the fears as you go through what they term penile rehabilitation.  Its a man thing and one that women or male doctors who haven't been through this just don't understand the impact.

You feel like you have been surgically castrated, but worse than that, you also lose your libido, the thoughts that you had - so it really impacts you emotionally.

So you use a VED - vaccum pump, medical grade, daily as you are told unless you do this then the muscle ( penis ) will wither away. The phrase is use it or lose it. Use it means exercising it and getting it as big as the device will allow to ensure atrophy doesn't settle in. Plus you use the daily PDE5 inhibitors , in my case daily Cialis 5mg - this is to increase the blood flow to again prevent cellular death.  You want as much blood as you can, arterial , to get in there. But there is nothing you can do to repair the emotional aspects - you just pray or ignore it.

Lots of thoughts around the treatments and whether I should ask for the MUSE (urethral suppository)  again to give it a try, or maybe the Caverject ( injection ) . May have a chat in August with the URO in Shrewsbury.

In the meantime, the patent for Viagra expired this week and they are saying that the price of a blue pill will drop from nearly £10 a pill down to 60p. I am not on these, though if I was you are only allowed 4 a month due to the costs. I also cant take them combined with my Cialis - not unless I want my heart to stop ... just joking .. its about blood pressure dropping.  I don't want to gamble with the GP stopping the Cialis as my script doesn't come up for a review for another year.

So friends who have gone through what I am going through say - hang in there. One chap , his machinery kicked in 12 months after surgery .... so I am counting the days/weeks/months.

Still getting internal sorness - must be my weight gain - have to lose some weight

Been a few weeks since my last posting so its time for an update.

Am walking a lot now, getting back to my regular hillwalking. Hopefully this will help lose the weight I have put on. Am not a doctor but I do suspect that some of the pain/soreness I am still getting internally is purely down to me putting on weight during recuperation.

Think of it this way, the internal stiches are not made of elastic so I assume that as I was thinner when I had surgery 8 months ago I was stitched up pretty tightly. Having put on the flab around the waistline this has probably pulled on the internal wound. So my plans are that if I keep exercising and try and lose weight then maybe these niggling pains will go. Though I do sit here sometimes and think I have a minor hernia. Especially after a long drive and getting out of the car.

Still mustn't moan or cry wolf, time to move on with life.

Bit of good news, had a blood test with work for checking for Lung Cancer. Being an ex smoker thought it would be good to have the test. Brilliant, came back negative, however with a recommendation that I get tested every 2 years as I have a 27% chance of contracting during my lifetime.

Not long until I go to Belgium to do voluntary work with Scouts at an international Jamboree, then I come back and go to see my urologist in Shrewsbury for check up and a standard NHS PSA test.